i am a misfit of this society

2006-11-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

i write songs based on these criteria; it has to be short, sweet and meaningful..

because that's what i want my life to be.

2006-10-23T00:15:00.000+08:00

ok this blog is as good as dead but i need to post something here.. and i think there's only one person who reads my blog. and that is my baby..

it was our 18 month anniversary two days back.. i picked her up from work and she surprised me by giving me something i would have never expected.. a bouquet of flowers with three roses on it. i can still remember the moment she told me to close my eyes, and when i opened my eyes, there it was. and clearly rememberedt that she said the 3 roses stands for 'i love u'...

i love u too hidayah.. =)

2006-10-07T01:36:00.000+08:00

test

2006-06-12T21:12:00.002+08:00

back to work after a few days off.. same routine - stupid customers come and go. irritating new full time girl irritating as usual. she's been given the kick in the butt cos she stepped in too many of our toes. her last day will be friday. haha. i'm so evil. lesson to anyone who is new to a job, whatever kind of job it is, BE HUMBLE. don't act like you know everything when you don't. and don't try to act too close to your colleagues when you're only a few days old in that workplace.

and my sis had to fork out 25 bucks cos her cashier was short of cash. and she didn't recall of making any mistake. she was feeling down when she left work. when i get my pay, maybe i'll give her 10 bucks or something to lighten that burden. cos she paid for me when i did that same kind of mistake. i do remember people's good deeds..

bought a top up card for my beee.. wonder if she can call singtel from that island. she said reception is bad there. oh well, all i can do is wait for that significant call from her. i miss her voice. i'm so used to hearing her voice every night, be it quarreling or laughing our hearts out. now that i can't do so, i don't know what to do with my free time. the soccer match at 12 should be boring, so i shall just sleep and wake up just in time for the 3 am match between germany and poland. ok i'll try to sleep... miss you beeeeeeee!

2000 light years away

2006-06-12T21:12:00.001+08:00

i sit alone in my bedroom
staring at the walls
i've been up all damn night long
my pulse is beating, my heart is yearning

i hold my breath and close my eyes
and dream about her
cos she's 2000 light years away....

well, not quite 2000 light years away, but still far enough. she's on a bus ride to lang tengah, somewhere in terengganu. can't help but feel that each second now, she's getting further and further away from me. but then again, as seconds past, i know i'm nearer to meeting her again. counting down..

world cup has been a blast. it's a period where girlfriends will lose their boyfriends, wives lose their husbands and sisters lose their brothers. it's also a period for overdose of coffee or redbull to keep you awake and much energised to shout whenever there is a goal. it's also a period where policemen working night shift will get extra calls for noise pollution. i used to dread those kind of messages.

so far, most of the favourite teams have come up with victories, unlike the past world cup where underdogs triumph. everyone's been asked who will win the world cup. to be logical, i'll have to go with brazil again. but my favourite team will have to be spain.

come back soon

2006-06-12T21:12:00.000+08:00

went out with the gf to watch 'the omen' earlier. kind of sad cos everyone else died in the end and the devil son lives on. stubborn little devil.

i think i'm suffering from gastric flu. i almost fainted in the train, but thanks to the wonderful girl, she offered me her seat and massaged my neck. everything was fine after that.

she's going to malaysia for six days. makes me wonder when was the last time i did not see her for six days straight. you will be missed dear. take care. see you soon.

for someone who matters

2006-06-01T22:02:00.000+08:00

something's telling me it'll be just fine
when a light came passing by
showing me directions
i didn't have in mind
for it was you who made it happen
and i see myself breathing again

you shouldn't change a thing
cause all about you is the one that keeps me going
wherever in doubt, whatever you do
when you need something to hold on to
i'll be here..

for all the times we had
i won't trade them for anything else
here's to more seven januaries

we'll pave our paths to better days
our haunting grounds will still remain
for us to reminisce
i'm here to make amends
for all the things i've done that doesn't seem right

the past is better left forgotten
cause there's something to look forward to
a promise we shall keep
if you could go the distance
i don't see why i can't
make this easy

for all the times we had
i won't trade them for anything else
here's to more seven januaries

whenever you listen to this song, just remember that i will never let go of this easily.. promise too..

2006-04-27T17:29:00.000+08:00

ok, new skin... new semester coming soon.. new pen i bought before my exams.. new gig for me to look forward to (details coming up).. new life? nahhh, same old me..

the gf wanted me to start blogging again so she voluntarily helped me search for a new skin.. i love the new skin.. thank you beeee.. heh.

a little update... it's been a year since i went out with this wonderful girl i got to know of from friendster.. heh. now she's become a part of my life. thanks for everything.. here's to more 7 januaries...

2005-12-16T01:12:00.006+08:00

back to school tomorrow..

2005-12-16T01:12:00.005+08:00

i was in the train yesterday when i saw a chinese girl wearing a t-shirt with a 'fear factory' logo on it.. in case you guys don't know, fear factory is a techno trash metal band.. it's not that i'm biased against that girl, but from the way she dressed, she looked like the typical ah lian dancing on the dance dance revolution. heh. which got me thinking, do these people actually know what the logos on their shirt resembles? in another case, i saw a fat auntie in jurong point wearing a ramones t-shirt. maybe she listened to them when she was younger, but then i thought again, maybe not! so i came to a conclusion that maybe people buy these shirts because they like the design and these shirts can be found easily at a cheap price, not because they are great fans of the bands..

2005-12-16T01:12:00.004+08:00

spent half a day sleeping..think i'm having a slight flu, but i think it's wearing off now.. the first thing i did when i woke up at around 8 in the evening is to check my results online.. actually, i didn't look forward to the results cos i'm afraid of being disappointed.. but like it or not, i'll still have to know my results.. so here it is..

physics - C+
chemistry - F
maths - C+
computing - D+
effective communication - B
lab - B
principles of econs - B

damn.. i had mixed feelings when i got the results. firstly, i didn't expect i would clear computing cos i wasn't at all serious with it, i remembered watching exorcism of emily rose a day before the paper..haha. and i still scraped through.. i was surprised of that result.. but then i failed chemistry.. i wasn't confident of that subject either, but at least more confident then computing.. well, i'll just have to retake the subject next semester.. on a better note, she's coming back tomorrow!! yey!

2005-12-16T01:12:00.003+08:00

someone told me to put down my daily routine here for the next few days so that she can read it when she returns on wednesday.. so here goes..what i did on Sunday 18 Dec-
1) woke up around 1030. quite early considering i didn't have to work on that day..
2) watched slipknot's disasterpieces dvd(thanks to mr joel). their deejay got caught in the moshpit.
3) was going to have jamming session at 4 in potong pasir. realised i was damn late. indeed i was, 20 mins to be exact. heh.
4) got our acts together and played two covers. overall, we did pretty well considering that we've not been jamming often.
5) headed to adam rd to have dinner with the band. had two bowls of ice kachang.(who can handle that man!) but then the ice kachang was simply irresistable.. one was not enough and three would have been too much, so i settled for two. heh. khai and charlene joined us for a while..
6) went home shortly after that. watched the late night match between arsenal-chelsea. three words, "arsenal really sucks!!" and i have a boil on my nose. randomness again. haha.
7) went to sleep arnd 1, wishing she's doing fine over there. 3 more days! can count it with one hand. haha.

p.s- stupid blogger, i blogged this on monday 19 december.. not friday 16 december! i'll look into this later. for now i'm late for work! damn.

2005-12-04T18:55:00.000+08:00

it's been ages since i've updated.. blame the comp..i just had it reformatted..

exams over, waiting for the results now..

working part time now, hard work for a lousy pay..

leaven trait is doing fine.. loads of gigs coming up.. do visit our new official website at www.leaventrait.net

we did a live recording and two of our songs are featured at www.purevolume.com/theleaventrait

it's been almost eight months, rest assured i still feel the same for u despite all the hiccups..

2005-10-27T19:36:00.000+08:00

close shave..

but i made it out there alive..

i think i'm lucky..

cos i have my lucky charm by my side..

don't leave me..

'I don't want to cause no harm, but sometimes my actions hurt.. Is there something I should find to make plans for forever?' - green day

2005-10-22T18:00:00.000+08:00

this is the first time i don't look forward to raya..

the first day of raya is between two of my papers.. how to celebrate like that?? well, i don' t think i'm the only one who'll be suffering here. *laughs at those taking the A's*. whatever it is, puasa tetap puasa ah..hehe. no discount.

2005-10-22T17:46:00.000+08:00

fuck exam periods!

i still have four years of it left..

2005-10-07T22:55:00.000+08:00

taxi drivers should be more responsible when they work night shifts; get some sleep first before u pick up passengers! don't endanger their lives.. if u ask me why i said all this, i've encountered one of these sleepy drivers on early wednesday morning while on my way back from katong. i thought i could get some sleep throughout the journey, but it seemed that the uncle is the one almost falling asleep. so now, it's the sleepy driver and the wide awake passenger! i had to keep an eye on the traffic behind for the driver, while he continues to skive. he was not following the straight lane, and to make it worst, it started raining. and the taxi was jerking most of the time. i got so worried for my life that i told the uncle, "uncle, can drive or not???" and the random fake coughs and banging of stuffs in an attempt to deliberately keep the poor uncle awake. but then again, i should be more understanding rite? it was 2 a.m and he must have been tired, picking up passengers. for all i know, he might have been playing mahjong earlier and didn't get enough rest. sympathy points for him. but wth! you're talking about two lives here. well, i have to thank Him for keeping me safe just in time for the fasting month.

third day of fasting, i've been sleeping more than usual. is it normal, that people feel more lethargic when they fast? is it ok if i sleep more than usual during this fasting month?

to all muslims out there, happy fasting! steer clear of all those temptations! i'm trying very hard here.. haha.

to people who always ask me the question 'how's school' out of curiosity, i'll give u the same answer. sucky. never been better. more workload. getting tougher by the day. not much time left till the exams. i'm lagging far behind. time to hit the notes. i hope i'm not the only one who feels like this.

for now, back to my chemistry notes.. organic, carbocation, hybridisation, sp3, aromatic compounds.. if you guys are lost for a moment there, u're not alone.. i've got no clue either.

to you, take care of that sore throat. don't get too sick... remember, i was, am, and will always be there for u should u need anything. i'm just a call away..

"so little time, so much to do, i'd rather spend one day with you..." - some old song by an obscure old band..it's their one hit wonder i think..

2005-10-04T00:18:00.000+08:00

'tears down your face,
leaving traces of my mistakes..'

sorry, for everything that i am and everything that i am not.

2005-09-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

"with you, i am so at ease.
with you, i can breathe easy.
with you, my riddles are complete.
but with you, i am hated."

The Leaven Trait - With You

minus off the last line.
that's what i always feel when i'm with you..

2005-09-20T20:43:00.000+08:00

man down - the leaven trait

it seemed that life is just a certainty
but we are far away from being free
did you have to steal my dreams?
cause i refused to follow
the path in front of me which already has been laid
it's like a morning prayer, it's stuck in everyday
i'm good in other ways, so don't you question me
i'm going wayward, and i don't regret

one is to learn from the mistakes
but then i don't know which to start with
i'm giving more than i can take
is it time i start to follow?
the normal routine of what is being right
of what is being taught in daily school lives
a normal life is fine, no i don't think so
and i still don't regret

i've been shortchanged
don't deprive me of what i've left
now don't deprive me

new song, gonna be played soon during upcoming gigs. the title is dedicated to mr i-tore-two-ligaments-can-you -do that-too roslan. haha.

to all people having their exams now, all the best..

2005-09-05T23:41:00.000+08:00

physics test tmr, and as i went through the notes earlier, i realised i'm in a world of my own.
everything looked alien to me.

i guess i'll bring a four-faced dice tmr then..

i love surprising people. heh.

2005-09-04T01:00:00.000+08:00

had farewell dinner with my JC classmates earlier. one of them, shawn is leaving for birmingham to further his studies in music. meeting them brings back memories of those JC days. slacking in the cafe, playing carrom, soccer, blink S82, not studying! hahkz! anyway, take care bro.. see you in the near future..

2005-08-28T23:57:00.000+08:00

and so, another end to a mini leaven trait tour. we ended with a blast, with ros attempting a super crazy jump which might have hurt his knee. i hope his case is not the same as mine. this is really punk rock. two members of the band hurting their knee when performing. hah. good crowd for both shows today, some unexpected too. overall, good job guys...

thanks to everyone who came down.

thank you for surprising me.. heh.

2005-08-28T10:12:00.000+08:00

good gig yesterday. it's becoming a usual trend. squeaky clean before the gig and super smelly after that. pre-gig nerves and post-gig relief. hehe. been through that so many times. and it's great to see familiar faces standing in front of us again, amidst the crowd. playing again at two slots today. how i wish you can be there. but i understand. one day you will.. :)

damn, i've not done a single tutorial. bad boy.

maybe this is what i am..

student five days a week.
punkrocker by the weekend.
boyfriend 24 hours a day.
family boy filled in between the gaps.

heh.

2005-08-15T23:17:00.000+08:00

i try to understand. i still am trying..
but i'm not getting any assistance here..
please, tell me.

2005-08-08T21:30:00.000+08:00

often you don't realise the importance of someone when he or she is with you..

you only start to do so when he or she threatens to go away, not to see you again for some time, not to be part of your daily life..

i realise the importance of someone last night...to me..

-but without you, my life is incomplete, my days are absolutely gray...- no use for a name.

we remember sam.

2005-08-06T11:34:00.000+08:00

second week of school and the work already piles up. just what i always do during jc days, i'll find myself lagging behind the tutorials and i'll end up copying the model answers. and the speed the lectures are going are so damn fast. man i have to adapt soon. 4 years more! this is only the 2nd week. i hope things get better.

gig at substation yesterday. sensitive issue for the cause. people who we don't usually see in gigs were there. we played our hearts out. music, one of the things that keeps me going.

new chapter

2005-07-25T00:37:00.000+08:00

semester starts tomorrow.

no more lazing around and getting up late.

new friends. new environment. i always freak out when there's a change in environment. it'll get better in a few weeks.

so NTU, here i come...

2005-07-09T02:20:00.000+08:00

everything happened so suddenly.. it was just last week when we were still doing silly stuffs together back in KL. and now this. shocking it is.

bite the hand that feeds.

2005-07-05T02:16:00.000+08:00

2 gigs in the weekend. i always do this after every gig, thank everyone who came. played the same old covers. time to change covers. it's time i write new songs too..

2 parties at the weekend too. had too much food. keep this up and i'll revert back to the secondary school me.

still jobless. somebody hire me please.

school in less than a month.

i'm just wasting away whatever time there is left.

back...

2005-07-01T01:50:00.000+08:00

alrite..back from the trip to malacca and KL.now my legs are full of blisters. lots of walking but little shopping. had lots of food there too.been eating non-stop. lots of crap with the guys. but i was starting to miss s'pore, so here i am. so glad to be back. but in a day's time, it's back to finish off the tour, at tampines mall on saturday and woodlands on sunday.

hold on bro, i hope you're ok...

2005-06-21T02:25:00.000+08:00

yey! i've shaved my goatee..

going out again later to get me some passport sized photos, send the baybeats flyers to seng chye (see that auntie again..aiyah), then to fairoz's house and maybe sheesha later on..

i'm getting worn out by the day, but i'm not going to stop. there's so little left in my youth now and i don't want to spend most of it sleeping and staying at home. mum, i hope you understand. i admit i'm going a bit wayward, but i know the limit, i know when to stop. my mum's worried that i'll get carried away and drag this lifestyle of mine even after i get married. come on lah, it's still a long way to go. maybe six years from now. by then i may get bored of doing the things i'm doing now, i won't know.

KL in 3 days time. can't wait. mixed feelings about leaving for KL. damn..

'i'm not growing up, i'm just burning out.' - green day

2005-06-20T01:29:00.000+08:00

two gigs earlier, one hour session each..phew.. a well deserved 3 days rest awaits me before we play for a gig at youth park on thursday, and maybe i could meet her too..

to think i wished all the fathers happy father's day earlier during the gig, but i didn't even wish my father. and it's his birthday too. bad son..

and i found out today that my used-to-be best friend in early secondary schoold used to like my current friend. as the saying goes, it's a small world afterall..

we've played at an army camp, secondary school, polytechnic, the heartlands, clubs and today we added another in the list, shopping centres. how cool is that? and we are the leaven trait. we play anywhere, anytime...

2 days and counting..

2005-06-18T13:20:00.000+08:00

i just have to do this after every gig..comment about it. thanks to all the people who came to watch, not only us but the other bands. especially those who came forward during our slot. please do that more often. then we'll feel the warmth when you guys get together. haha. something went wrong with one of the guitar amps earlier but fortunately, it did not die during our set. and i can't hear me fucking the whole time. so pardon me if my singing sucked yesterday. well, it usually does anyway. another gig today at substation. hopefully, the sound will be better.

'you have only been gone ten days, but already i am wasting away..' - incubus
well, it's only been one day. counting down the days..

2005-06-17T00:01:00.000+08:00

a highly anticipated weekend is here...

friday - freedom gig at paradigm
saturday - wireless session at substation
sunday - gig at east coast and parkway parade

we'll go all out man!!

hmmm..so she's leaving for tioman on saturday..so sad.. lucky it's only for a few days..

today i learnt that a woman's tears can bring a man back to ground..a cure for his ego..

2005-06-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

another cool gig to look out for.

2005-06-14T21:13:00.000+08:00

another gig on the way, we're going back to youth park again! but yet to be confirmed. a drug awareness thing! cool man! don't do drugs peeps! i am definitely against drugs..screw you drugs for ruining people's lives!

-'you deprive me of what i call emotion, this last straw will not last for the night...'- with you.

2005-06-13T23:09:00.000+08:00

just received my student package from NTU yesterday..lots of forms to fill up. now i'm doing it by myself, my parents ain't helping. well, that's the price you pay for being 21. i can't be a pampered child anymore.

i didn't know the government pays a large amount of the fee. good job. pround to be a citizen of this country. yeah rite..

guess i'm ready to be a student again. better get the pen holding grip right again. new school. new friends. some old. new environment. new chapter in life.

physio session tomorrow. been a bad boy, not exercising my legs these few days. but the leg's becoming normal again, except that it squeaks.

and please people, don't do personal attacks on other people in your blogs. some things are better left forgotten. make love, not war. there's enough chaos in this world now to get us through doomsday.

ok, ignore the last paragraph. i was just being nonsensical.

-there's no more control, there's too little time. and i am feeling suffocated now.- lead the way.

2005-06-12T22:09:00.000+08:00

courtesy of aveline chan

2005-06-08T00:44:00.000+08:00

freedom gig - 17th june

2005-06-07T04:29:00.000+08:00

oh no... so she found out i have a blog.

didn't mean not to tell you but you didn't ask and i didn't think it was that important. heh.
and now you know what happened to me for the past year. those past entries were nothing. it was just my thoughts at that point of time. i don't have feelings for her anymore. trust me.

and if you still don't believe me, i'll make this official, well at least on my blog..

i love you hidayah, no one else.

and ros if you happen to read this entry, just bear with it. i have to be emo at times. you'll know when you've found ur right girl. but i'll still play fucking punk rock. heh.

2005-06-02T12:08:00.000+08:00

it's been a long while since i've blogged. so here goes..

i went out almost everyday the past week even though my physio had reminded me that 'walking' is not a good form of exercise. but i think it works wonders. now i'm able to walk longer distances without feeling much pain. but then i discovered a squeaky sound whenever i bend my knee. it's like the sound of a rusty door hinge. freaked me out man! but upon checking out with the physio, i was informed that it might just be bones rubbing against each other. so i guess i worried too much. i'm almost back to my normal lifestyle. jam, sheesha, meeting her. yeah! i get to do it all again!

found out that leaven trait will be having 3 consecutive gigs in a row.

17th june- freedom gig @ paradigm
18th june- wireless session @ substation
19th june- gig somewhere in parkway parade

wow! check out the updates at www.leaventrait.com

had a 3 hour jamming session with the guys on tuesday. i guess we're still not rusty after not jamming for some time. we even managed to play new covers and complete 'lead the way'. watch out for that new killer original guys! and we're going to the recording studios if nothing goes wrong, in august.

i feel so broke now without the monthly 940 bucks deposited into my account monthly. i need a part time job. well, at least after i get better. get better soon, please.

cruel..

2005-05-22T01:06:00.000+08:00

and so united lost..

they did not deserve that. i wouldn't mind them losing if they had played badly, but they played like winners. and to lose in a penalty, it's just cruel.

it's ok united. to me, you are the champions, only without the trophy.

one week after surgery

2005-05-20T12:45:00.000+08:00

drastic improvement with regards to my leg. yeah! i can walk without crutches anymore. even though my physio has not given me the green light to stop using crutches. just in case i stain any of those important muscles, i think i may still need that pair of fake legs. but i'm doing well guys.. i wanna fucking jam!! i think i have forgotten how to play guitar already. hehe. i shall go brush up on my skills, which is not that great in the first place..

3 days after surgery..

2005-05-14T15:40:00.000+08:00

the surgery went well. stayed in the hospital for one night. the doctor told me to stay for another day. i said thanks but no thanks!

think it's the longest time i stayed at home.

bored.

bored.

bored.

by now i think you can tell.

joel sold julia away.

bored.

i now realise how important it is to have two good legs.

bored.

but then again, one good leg is better than none.

and i'm starting to miss her already.
so good old right leg, pls recover fast.

2005-05-06T22:46:00.000+08:00

black box later tomorrow. yeah! i've got the tickets! 22 total. and ben asked to add in two more..haha sorry too late. got the tix already. cya guys tmr! i shall whack the new strings out of felicia now.

2005-05-02T20:46:00.000+08:00

woke up from my evening nap at 8pm by ben's sms. yeah! good news! leaventrait is going to play for black box this saturday at paradigm. if there are no last minute changes, we'll be playing for the 5-530 slot. since it's less than a week from now, i don't think we have the time to practise new songs. so it'll be our same old shit man!! so if u like our old shit, do drop by to catch the leaven trait and other good local bands play. man, i'm going to predict that my knee's going to get another hurting, but who cares. heh. a little pain goes a long way...

2005-04-30T02:03:00.000+08:00

meeting her today really was the highlight of the day..

headed to AJC next for a guest band performance there. although we played 2 songs, i think we rocked the school down, hopefully.. and ben has a fan club now. girls were screaming his name after the show. got to meet a new friend today, charlene. hopefully i got that name right. nice girl. bubbly. go for it bro. haha. supper at adam road as usual after that. phew...what a day..

2005-04-26T18:19:00.000+08:00

it's been a long while since i woke up early in the morning and go out. those days of squeezing through the mrt doors amidst the morning crowd just in time for school were way past my memory. and i relived it this morning.

headed tothe hospital to see the doctor. so he fixed another date for me after just one glance at my knee. he was able to tell that the knee cap was still loose. well, he ain't the doctor for nothing rite. and they are highly paid because patients are charged 21 freaking bucks just to fix another operation date and for the doctor to look at their knee. too bad i don't have bad handwriting or i might consider being a doctor. heh.

went to renew my passport after that. finally i can go overseas again without any hassle of applying the exit permit. then went to city hall for shirt-shopping and headed home around 1. just as i was about to open the door to my house, ros messaged and asked whether i'm free to go to city hall with the guitar gang to look around for guitar stuff. urrrggghh.. if only u had sent that message like one hour earlier, i would have stayed around in town. so i said no and went to sleep. heh. no wonder she calls me lazy..

supper again?

2005-04-24T15:30:00.000+08:00

yeah.. u guessed it right. had supper with the same old usual suspects. this time we conquered one kopitiam, which was somewhere in city hall. i don't seem to recall the place until the sun rose and it was morning, to signal my ass to get home, only to return to the same place in less than 12 hours. but guess i still can have late supper with u guys as long as my stomach permits me to, and not forgetting the cash in my account which is depleting. i need a part time job. stupid knee. you had to give up on me.

wasted trip

2005-04-22T19:03:00.000+08:00

wrong timing.. i got flu the same day i was going for my knee reconstruction surgery. and it will be postponed till i recover from this flu. and it was only 38.2 leh. damn lah, drag some more. now i don't know if i can recover just in time for freedom gig and the KL trip. but at least for now i can still jam and see her. heh.

memorable day

2005-04-20T03:04:00.000+08:00

today's a memorable day for me.

don't ask.

for both of us to know, and you to find out. heh.

leaven trait day

2005-04-19T00:02:00.000+08:00

celebrated leaven trait day yesterday with the band and our closest friends..

to think we survived one year of countless jamming and gigging, overnight at the glasshouse, getting to know more jamming studios, those late night supper at adam road, learning of new covers and not forgetting originals.

and we're gonna do this for ten years more!!!

and nobody's backing out..

farewell to another chapter

2005-04-15T22:45:00.000+08:00

this is it.

i've done my part in serving the nation.

although i may be recalled anytime.

but that's besides the point.

ORD ohhhhhh!!

a new chapter begins. and there's a new character in it. there's still hope.

i shall do this...

2005-04-11T20:30:00.000+08:00

5 more days to ORD!

120 hours to ORD!

7200 minutes to ORD!

432000 seconds to ORD!

i'm just being plain irritating. this goes out to those boys who have a long way to go and to those boys who aren't even enlisted yet. and to those who don't even know what ORD stands for, you have a long, long way to go. ORD oh!!!

blister

2005-04-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

what do i get from this argument?
it's the right to reason
what do i get? what do i get?
why do i care? what do i really care?
i don't know why you had to settle
all your differences in front of me
and expect me to do nothing
i just can't listen
to all of your antiques
making me frantic
all of the words
you just repeat yourself
you cried wolf once again

and i can't pretend that everything is fine
they say that time will heal
but i'm still buying my own time
we cannot forget

gone respect is what you get
when you don't make good
of the words you said
and now the effects are coming in
and i'm bringing up the facts that
you have overseen
this is all too late

and i can't pretend that everything is fine
they say that time will heal
but i will take my time
we cannot forget
they cannot forget

2005-03-31T18:04:00.000+08:00

went for the review for my knee earlier. bad news. i've really torn a ligament. and i've always thought only soccer players suffer from that. and it's the anterior cruciate ligament(ACL), which according to the orthopaedic, is one of the four ligaments that support the knee cap from falling off. no wonder i've been having this feeling that my knee is about to come off. but worse still, this ligament can never heal by itself, according to the orthopaedic again(i'm not a bio student so i know nuts) and i'll have to go for surgery to reconstruct my ACL. if i don't, the chances of my knee cap giving way again while playing soccer or jumping during a gig, is very high and i for sure don't want that to happen again.

man, that sucks! sorry guys, no jamming for a few weeks after the surgery. i won't know how long it takes to recover. but i will. i'll be active for duty for leaventrait in no time! and i'll have no reason not to jump higher, cos a metal screw will be inserted to my knee. yeah, highly durable. hahhkkzz!!

on the way back in the mrt, i got knocked out for a few seconds while standing. everything suddenly went black and the next thing i know was that i fell to the ground. at that point of time, i couldn't think of being embarassed. all i wanted was some kind soul to help me up and offer me a seat. no one came. i vaguely remembered getting up on my own and holding on to the rail for support. i was still semi-conscious when i felt someone grabbing my hand. i then awoke from my 'sleep' and saw an indian man, or bangladeshi, helping me to a seat. i can only bear to lift my hand as a gesture to thank him. but i really do thank him. dear mister, if you happen to read this, i thank you.

what happened in the mrt, i just can't explain... i'm even clueless myself. first time it ever happened. i felt like i was going to die. ok, exaggerating again... i can only assume that i did not eat anything since yesterday and got knocked out because of that. or do i have another ailment?? please, not now. one at a time please.

what a day that was..

2005-03-21T23:15:00.000+08:00

i sprained my knee while performing.

i finally watched fishtank perform.

fairoz became a 'commando'.

kc was seen skanking.

joel was like high on drugs.

most of all, i can see everyone was enjoying themselves.

thanks to everyone who came to watch the leaven trait perform. the familiar faces and the unknown ones who sang along to our covers. thank you lin, for offering to get ice for my swollen knee. thank you, fairoz and juan, for helping me get off the stage. thank you ave, for rubbing tiger balm on my knee. thank you ben, for getting help for me. thank you kc, for offering 'community service'. thank you ros, for helping me carry my guitar. thank you jo, for calling and asking how my condition was. thank you lokman, for taking time off to watch your ex-band perform. thank you beach patrol guy, for ferrying me to the first aid area. i have to thank the crowd as well for the applause they gave as i limped off the stage. it certainly gave me the strength to play. and i did not want to disappoint my band. thanks to everyone present there. man, this sounded like a thank you speech after winning an award. but heck, who cares.

dinner and sheesha at tanjong pagar. the hospital with great company. ros and his killer tom yam noodles. the torturous climb up to garage. the random jamming session. the 'lepak' corner at raffles place. the late night conversation till late morning. phew, what a day spent.

2005-02-02T01:33:00.000+08:00

had my ORD check up this afternoon. can't believe i'm gonna ORD soon. another chapter of my life is ending. have u ever felt that u don't want to leave that chapter of your life whe it's ending? and what lies ahead of you is still a mystery?? and you'll have to start making new friends and forgetting old ones?? i'm undergoing that phase. still remembered my checkup before i entered NS..you'll have to cough and show the doctor 'u noe wat'. but there was no need for that just now. i'm still wondering why we have to do that..

then came the ORD talk.. what we going to do after ORD. well, i didn't have to think that long. cos i have to suffer for at least 4 years.. then after that, that kept me thinking, what if after 4 years time, the unemplyment period comes again. will i waste my 4 years?? it's all unpredictable out there. well at least i've got back up plan. i can always be a rock star! hahkz!!

2005-01-25T01:44:00.000+08:00

ok..ok.. so it's my second skydiving case in a matter of two weeks?? damn. now i'm labelled 'lucky' by my teammates. some of the regulars dun even see this kind of case for almost a year. and here i am, just three months old being a frontline officer, and i've seen two cases. some of the 'orang lama's may say it's nothing. yeah rite! wish i could see ur reactions during ur first skydiving case. i can't say much but all i can say is it's such a pity. she was still young. but now, i'll have to brainwash myself and not keep thinking of what i saw...

2005-01-12T14:32:00.000+08:00

encountered my first jumping case yesterday. makes me sound like a attended-skydiving-case-virgin. can't say much more bout the case, you guys should know why. dun wanna get myself into trouble with the authorities. nonetheless, there's always a first experience for everything. now i'm craving for new cases other than those old domestic dispute or noise pollution case. not that i'm asking for it, but it'll be a good learning experience for me. not all guys who serve NS can experience the job i'm doing now. but come to think of it, i too dun get too see the jungle, or fight fire..hahkzz! dinner & dance later. dun feel like going, but what to do, it's COMPULSORY. damn. and in-service tmr, work on friday with extra duties, followed by night shift on saturday. so much for two off days. darns.

2005-01-08T22:03:00.000+08:00

ben was weak all over, i just came back from night shift, ros had free-flow of mucus coming out from his nose, and joel had no excuse. heh. but nonetheless, we kinda rocked ngee ann just now. kinda disappointed we couldn't get really nasty cause the stage were small. and it was a lecture theatrette, so didn't expect any mosh. and i was almost blinded by the stage light. geez. lesson learnt, don't wear two shirts when you're performing. don't know bout ben though. apart from those minor dissatisfactions, great show altogether. i love 'i'm not ok'! and again, a big 'thank you' to the guys who came down earlier. don't have to mention names cause they're the same bunch of ppl who were always there for us. since there are no more gigs to prepare for now, i should concentrate on the originals...

2005-01-04T22:12:00.000+08:00

yay!! if u guys don't know yet, it's my birthday today!! thanks to all who have wished me happy birthday, and to those who have yet to or totally don't know at all, there's always next year. that is if i get to live to see my next birthday..birthday wish, don't think I have any. wait, i think i have one...I just wanna be with her. period. it seems like decades since i contacted her and i thought i could live with it, but NOOO!! i'm afraid to ask her again, for fear that she might start to hate me and will not even contact me... i think she is doing that rite now. fuck, just let me rot. she wouldn't know or bother anyway... damn, i was ok before i started typing this, but now i feel so terrible...if only birthday wishes do come true...

'why am I in love with a girl who treats me oh so badly?' - MXPX

2005-01-01T23:44:00.000+08:00

the gig at Mosh05 was awesome. first time ever ppl moshing to our songs. and i met friends from SAS. surprising enough they still recognise me, even after going through drastic weight loss since secondary school. fuck, does this mean i'm reverting back to my old self?better put on my jogging shoes again. this is so belated, but who cares!! HAPPY NEW YEAR! these are my new year's resolution, not according to importance.

1. get a 2b licence( just for fun, i'll still be cycling.)
2. have more gigs with leaven trait(it's not that we didn't have that many last year, but i'm just addicted to performing)
3. perform in a large scale basis with leaven trait(with moshers 5 times more than Mosh05)
4. write more originals for leaven trait(we're stagnant at five so far, and no more emo lyrics!)
5. ORD peacefully(4 months and counting.hopefully i'll still be alive by then.)
6. spend more time with my family(and trying to accept him as who he is.)
7. get a part time job while waiting for the new term to start.
8. get a car?(i'll save that resolution till 2012 maybe)
9. get a girlfriend(so that i won't spend New Year's Eve sitting at Al-Jilani's and stoning for the whole day!! just kidding. don't take it too hard DYL crew. love you guys!!)
10.not get rejected by a girl again(i have to fulfil this resolution first before resolution No. 9 can happen.)

'summer has come to past, the innocent can never last.' - green day

2004-12-20T13:01:00.000+08:00

damn...i've got a boil on my nose and i look like a fucking clown. and what's worse, leaven trait can't jam today. man, can't wait to hear our version of 'i'm not ok'. nearest gig in 10 days. dun panic..dun panic.. we've been doing these for years. ooookk, at least for one year...

2004-12-16T01:49:00.000+08:00

been rotting my life away these few days. why do i feel this way? just wanna sleep to forget about it. where did my appetite go? it was a blast last weekend with leaven trait, but then it was back to normal. my idle time is spent thinking of something which is not meant to be mine. fuck. give me any emo song and i'll sing it for you man. and my sentences don't link. i'm just typing randomly now. birthday's in less than a month but there's no reason for me to celebrate. Apart of being able to watch R(A) shows without restrictions. starting to realise that i don't talk that much to my mum nowadays. not to mention my dad. some scars are permanent. some take a long time to heal. i'm starting to notice that my brother is growing up to be a young man. it seems like yesterday that i was carrying him in my arms and putting him to sleep. those days. those nights alone without an adult in the house. where were you dad? while mum was slogging herself out, unable to sleep at night for half of her working life. it's so unfair to her. it's so unfair to me, to sis, to bro. and i get jealous when other ppl have responsible fathers. it's not as if u're not. this all boils back to a moment of folly during ur youth days. and so i swear i'll never follow ur footsteps. but still there is something that will try to break that vow of mine. temptation.

to those who dun understand what i'm blabbering, then dun force urself to. cos u ppl can never understand me.

we rocked!! didn't we??

2004-12-12T13:50:00.000+08:00

what a tour! what a weekend! few hiccups here and there but who cares! yeah! thank you, DYl crew for being there once again, or we'll be playing for an empty crowd at youth park. paragon's crowd was better, even though we were on the verge of not playing for that set. and i had to break a string. damn. then headed to bishan for the community gig. 3 songs and we get paid for that! cool! then had supper at thomson, not to mention the name-a-band game we played. great weekend. could have been better if i'm not missing someone...

2004-11-30T20:37:00.000+08:00

i think it's high time i start blogging again...

it's been a while..where shall i start?

first of all..i've been transferred to an NPC finally..no more receptionist.. yeah, u peeps can stop laughing at me..finally i feel like a real policeman..still trying to adapt to the morning-night shift. it wears me out..but it's worthwhile.. i get to see the outside world, what's happening around our neighbourhoods. But too bad, i only have till next April to experience all these.. Still better late than never..

next in line will be my band. i think by far, this is our strongest line up so far. No offence to the previous bandmates. You guys will still be remembered for ur contributions. Learnt a few new covers and i'm starting to feel we're beginning to gel together as a unit. To my dearest bandmates, pardon me if i always criticise ur playing skills. But that's the only way we can improve. Come to think of it, it's a two way thingy. i get criticised too, most of the time for my guitar sound and that i should get a new effects pedal by the darn bassist. Considering bro.. But u should noe my financial situation. I'm still thinking of getting a 2B licence. That's gonna burn a hole in my pocket again after that Class 3 licence. Damn. And i'm saving up for my studies. I want to lighten my mum's burden. Shit, i'm digressing. Back to the band.. We'll be having a mini tour this december man. Here's the list.

10th- Orchard jam at Youth park from 9-10pm.
11th- this day's a killer. might have four different venues for the day.
15th-should be a gig for the cancer society somewhere in town.
22nd- gig at Ngee Ann Poly.
31st- should be a gig for new year's eve.

wow! and if you don't noe my band name till now, it's The Leaven Trait. Support local music.

Strange that i feel like blogging today after so many days, even months. Feel like there's no one noe nowhere i can confide in. I dun even tell my mum how i feel. Why am i such a fucking introvert?? Why the hell do i have communication problems?? Why can't i speak as fluent as some ppl do, when deep inside i have so much to say... Guess i should start writing songs again..

Fuck..what's wrong with me? I'm getting emotional.. And i thought only Joel will be emotional. Haha. Damn.. No surprise these next few lines are coming from me. I'm beginning to miss someone so badly. Why do i think of her all the time? Why do i feel miserable when i don't talk to her? And why am i tongue-tied when i talk to her? And i bet i'm gonna scare her away after what i tiold her yesterday. This is the first time in my life i'm feeling this way, and it sure is affecting me. i'm feeling so down now. Don't feel like going to work tmr. Don't feel like doing anything else.

So i drink myself to sleep...
and then i hide beneath the sheet...
and i try to disappear...

Hopefully i get better..the sooner the better. But for now.. i'm better off being alone...

2004-11-22T20:07:00.000+08:00

it seems like ages since i've been here....

Deathwish by The Leaven Trait

2004-09-04T19:51:00.000+08:00

not another soul in here
i'm bedridden on this empty ward
i'm high on anaesthetic
it fills me to the brim
i've been declared a victim
of this rare disease
remaining days i'm counting

you came to visit me
whenever you are free
it pains me to leave you behind
you're the only one i worry
so please hold back those tears
cause it's making me guilty

i hope that when i'm gone..you'll be ok
i hope that when i'm gone.. you'll be alright

i asked you the other day
if you'll forget me someday
you reluctantly said no
you said you'll be true to me
no matter what your heart will lead itself to me
well it's not for me to see

those distant memories of you and me
together in the past
is the only hope i have
but it's not gonna see me through
you'll better find someone new
who will feed and cuddle you
it will keep your mind off me

i hope that when i'm gone.. you'll be ok
i hope that when i'm gone.. you'll be alright

i feel my time is running short
already made a deathwish
it is to have a last glance at you
true enough you came again
but this time it's with another guy
holding your hand
guess it's the right time for me to leave

yeah..read the lyrics and you will know what this song is about. catchy. simple.

new found interest

2004-09-04T19:44:00.000+08:00

i guess it's not new found. it's been in my blood. now i sound so serious. hehe. bought myself a pair of soccer boots just in case i need it in future. so any soccer teams out there wanna recruit me? can always train me on my stamina, but skill wise, naww..it's not necessary. heh. maybe some juggling techniques cos i still can't juggle the ball for nuts. i think it's high time i upgrade my interest on soccer since leaven trait is quite stagnant at the moment. step aside street soccer courts! field, here i come!!

no epl?

2004-08-28T20:42:00.000+08:00

i was anticipating a boring saturday evening so i had a nap just now for 2 hours. woke up at 8 and remembered that there's and english premier league match happening in England and i don't get to see it. all because of the price war between espn and starhub. come on man!! there's demand so u better provide supply!!(basic econ's if u don't know. heh) and can some bold cable network company step up and pose a challenge to starhub?? stop them from dominating. please....anything for my epl!! can't live without it. but before i could curse further, i decided to have a go and switch on to channel 23. and there you go!! live coverage of blackburn vs man united!!!! i'm over the moon! but wat good timing. just in time to catch blackburn scoring. halftime now. blackburn leading by one goal. fuck..

got tunes??

2004-08-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

damn. running out of ideas. basically, 2004 years is just too long. people have been writing songs since god knows when. no wonder artists nowadays are starting to play covers. because tunes are running out. don't you think so?? here i am trying to figure out tunes for my originals but i'm going nowhere. let's see. if i play D and then B and slide to A and slide to G, it's sound like no use for a name. damn. try this instead. i'll play E and then G and then C. oh no!! now it turns out to sound like NOFX. ok ok. last try. i'll just play Em all the way with some solos in between. shite!! isn't that avenged sevenfold. see what i mean?? wait, i haven't tried the 3-chord ramones song... and don't get me wrong. green day still rocks!!! damn, i'm high on chords....

2004-08-22T20:02:00.000+08:00

good performance yesterday at jump on Singapore. don't remember any screw ups throughout the show.one bad thing is we couldn't pay covers because people have to pay to enter this fun fair.one of our friends did not manage to escape from paying the 10 bucks. heh. unfortunately, turnout wasn't that good. but still, thanks to ave, sharizal, lin, and shafiq's wife for coming. not forgetting lokman who came after our performance. well, better late than never. headed to p.s. for late lunch. then went to catch MTE at maplewood park. just had to catch them since they helped to set up leaven trait. hahkzz! then had late dinner at mcdonalds somewhere in hougang, or was it kovan? then headed home just in time to catch united's match. hail alan smith!! a good end to a long day. lethargic.

got car???

2004-08-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

historical moment for yours truly.. finally, after months of waiting, torture and pocket burning, after all those trips to BBDC, after getting phobia of seeing a TP tester, after 3 attempts, hell yeah, i'm a QUALIFIED driver!!! phew... that's a sigh of relief. gonna let myself rest for a few days before i proceed to enrol for a 2B licence. in the meantime, anybody got car to lend?? and make sure it's insured first. hahkz! damn, now i'll have to drive alone. no more instructor beside me to apply the emergency brake if there is a need..geeezzzz..

this is what i have to say.

2004-08-17T17:33:00.000+08:00

i have heard comments about my band's music. some people have commented on the vocals, which is kind of directed to me. so here is what i have to say. that is the way i sing, and it comes naturally. there's nothing i can do about it. some people may not like it, but others do.it will take time for people to accept the way i sing.

as for the sound, my band does not showcase fancy 3 minute long solos. firstly, it's because both guitarists come from a rhythm guitar background. secondly, we will like to keep our songs short and sweet. but not too short ben. please don't cut off certain parts of my songs. songs which are too short and simple are very common. we will sound like many other bands out there. wait a second, i'm contradicting myself here. i shall end abruptly.

hhmmmm..got the urge to write another song. don't feel like asking ben or joel for help with the lyrics. whatever that comes out from their minds will be EMO. damn.

doubleyellowline 2004.

2004-08-17T08:00:00.000+08:00

went to check out all the blogs and they have comments on DYL04. i don't wanna be the odd one out so here goes.

Organisation-two thumbs up for ben and ave! Good delegation of work!

Human Resource- excellent! met a lot of new faces. even though i can see most of them did not know each other, they managed to pull it off hand in hand.

Technical support- the equipment was perfect! wait i take that back. other than one of te guitar amps giving way twice during my band's performance, everything was fine..

Bands- here are my personal comments on their style of music. no hard feelings, guys..
~Kate of Kale-i like their kind of music. certain songs were very 'pennywise' stuff. fast beats!whooo!(hint..hint..)
~Moren Tea Estate-i am relatively close with this band cos they are my friends. and i'm not being biased when i say this. they totally ROCKED! even though their music are not well received by the new generation boys and girls, who are so much into punk rock and hip hop nowadays, i'm sure many out there will still like their chillout music. personal favourite song from this band-overdue! yohooo..don't burn your heart out!
~Gloria-this band is already established in the local scene and they have their own set of groupies who will sing and dance to their tunes, like what we saw at DYL. i think i can classify them as EMO. good vocals. energetic. i like their last song but i did not catch the title. damn.
~My Squared Circle-a bunch of energetic peeps. they displayed that energy during their performance. well received by the crowd. but personally, i think those long, draggy bridges are not my cup of tea.other than that, great performance guys.

did i miss a band? yeah! The Leaven Trait. the youngest of all the bands. well, it's my band. i can't possibly comment on our music. we played well. the songs turned out as what we have expected. but then came the fucking-two-times-got-turned-off-amp! damn! though this can be seen as a technical fault, i still feel miserable. saw the disappointed look on my bandmates' face. sorry guys...

Overall, it has been a success. thanks to all who came, be it the crew or the 'TRAITORS' (what leaventrait's fans are called). See you guys at the Doubleyellowline Reunion Dinner (if there is any) heh.

with you

2004-08-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

with you, i am so at ease
with you, i can breathe easy
with you, my riddles are complete
but with you, i am hated.

to get you, i had to beg and bleed
to get you, sacrifice i made
to get you, i waited night and day
now i've got you, i'm gonna burn it all away.

you deprive me of what i call emotion
this last straw will not last for the night
i've fallen for your trap you got it covered
for what i've become..i only have my self to blame.

i've ignored all advice they gave
conviction, i've endured so far
depression, living by each day
my only worry is when i lack of you.

phew..

2004-08-09T00:23:00.000+08:00

had problems logging into this blog for these couple of days. that's the reason why there are no recent posts. lame. hell, no one reads them anyway. 1 week to DOUBLEYELLOWLINE. counting down....

my mouth reeks of gunpowder...

2004-08-05T11:45:00.000+08:00

been wanting to complete the song 'meaningless' before DYL so that we can have more variety to play. but i just don't have the inspiration to complete the song. i'm stuck after the second chorus. but from how i see it, this song is gonna be another heavy one. no emo.(ben will have comments about this) sorreeeee... but now i roughly see where leaven trait is heading to. we don't have a fixed genre to cater to, we basically play anything. so that our songs don't sound the same. that reminds me. now i realise 'never understand' and 'northstar' sound the same.
geeeezzz. but that's ok. we'll come up with new tunes pretty soon.

need to come up with a few orignals for DYL.

gig tomorrow at ngee ann poly @ 1630 hrs. will be back to my original self. six strings instead of four. what a bargain! how i wish i could remain a guitarist. wishful thinking.

rotten toes..

2004-08-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

back from a game of soccer with team bravo of nanyang. starting to gel with them even though i'm not from the same npc. it feels good to be in a team. how i wish i was..

damn..rotten toes..rotten toes.. it's back.. should consider getting a pair of decent street soccer shoes.. considering........still considering.........

overdue

2004-07-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

forgot to thank all who came down on sunday to catch leaven trait. thanks dudes!
good performance. whole day in town. come to think of it, i'm getting sick of town. gonna find another place to hangout.maybe somewhere near my place. hate the lonely-ride back.. anyone staying in the west??

doubleyellowline04

2004-07-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

support local music! here's one for a start..

avenged sevenfold - and all things will end

2004-07-21T02:09:00.000+08:00

Lived through you,safe with how we lived our lives,
with how it all turned out.
(But things are bound to change)
Uncovered lies, surfaced throughout,
will make you change your mind

Sometimes life is altered
Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

When I see you, I can read it in your eyes,
fate misunderstood.
(But things are bound to change)
Swallowed the lies, can't blame you for,
thinking with your heart.

Sometimes life is altered.
Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
Uneasy with confrontation.
Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

I see my world crumble and fall,
before my eyes I know, I know.
Dark will turn to light,
in time I'll be alrightI know, I know
(I never imagined my life
could turn out this way
So cold so black so alone)

Living goes by fast,
catch your breath
and it will pass you by.
And it won't last,
to sulk with the memories you hold.

am i such a bad driver?

2004-07-16T22:46:00.000+08:00

failed my driving test for the second time. i don't my having as many attempts as i want,but it's burning my pocket.the tester said i have no problem driving on roads. but it's the circuit courses i'm weak at. i couldn't debate on that.i knocked a fucking pole down!! and that stupid thin, black-and-white pole is going to cause me two freaking hundred more at least! the tester couldn't be any stricter. it's thanks to u guys that Singapore roads are safe. we have safe drivers filling our roads. as if. call me sore. whatever. re-taking the test on 19 august. it seems so far away. sigh. i'm always sighing nowadays...

today's the first..

2004-07-13T17:06:00.000+08:00

for the entire 20 years of my life, never have i watched a movie alone. all along, it's eihter been with family members or friends. today was the first time. i told myself i had to watch spiderman 2 at least before spiderman 3 starts showing. and if i asked my friends to watch with me, i'm sure most of them already have. so i decided to watch it alone. nothing to be ashamed of. in fact i feel better watching a movie alone. no distractions from friends who will go, "what did he just say just now??" or "my god, isn't he cuuuuuuuuttttteeeeee". i'll just tell them to fuck off.

i sneaked in two large mac fries and munched on it for almost like forever. first time i don't have to fight with my brother over these fries. the show was good and it taught me that there is a hero in all of us. waaaaaahhh.

bought myself a pair of bermudas. levis. guess i'm allergic to 'all brands except levis'. next on the shopping list, a pair of good, cheap shoes. my adidas superstar is too slippery for my own liking.

gotta go try out joel's julia. man, she's still tight. i meant the strings though. and julia is a bass guitar. don't let ur imaginations run wild...

totally mesmerised by avenged sevenfold..

2004-07-11T20:20:00.000+08:00

for those who have heard this band, AVENGED SEVENFOLD, i'm sure they have the same views as me about their songs. there's something that makes their songs different from most metal bands. and surprising enough, people categorised them as a punk band in their official website. but i don't see any 3 chord punk riffs in their music. and their songs have melody, unlike most metal bands where they scream their heads off. guess this is what you call emocore. for those who have not listened to AVENGED SEVENFOLD, i strongly recommend you. you may not like it the first time you listen to them, but as you keep on listening, the tune gets into your head. and guess what? there are certain parts in most of the songs where you can sing-along. i give them two thumbs up!!

now i'm trying to look for people to jam their songs. sorry ben, their music is not your cup of tea. and i don't see leaven trait playing their songs.. never in this life..

i feel like sleeping beauty..

2004-07-10T20:35:00.000+08:00

jammed with the new line-up of leaven trait yesterday. as usual, i received a call from ben that he would be late. and i was on my way there!! where else can i go to? i'm too early. so decided to drop by penin to get some thicker picks(cos i'm playing bass now) just to realise that most shops in penin close early, including davis. tough luck. then headed to garage. ben was late, but never mind. our first session was rather productive. we managed to play cureless and never understand, and managed to complete 95% of everlasting fall. went straight home after that..

i push my finger into my eyes, it's the only thing that slowly stops the ache..

wake up early in the morning @ 0710hrs. did my daily routine, and went to work, only to realise that i'l be working afternoon shift today because my partner, suren was on leave. damn! decided to go back cos it's pointless to stay there and wait until 11 to start work. bought some breakfast for my family and went back home. what tough rotten luck! it became worse because when i reached home, i started scratching all over. rashes start to develop all over my body. i've had these rashes for a few days already. decided not to let this carry on, so i headed for the polyclinic..

the doctor told me that it was some kind of rash due to allergy. never recalled me having any kind of allergy. hhhmm..he gave me 1 day's m.c for today and i was pushing my luck too far to get another day's m.c for tomorrow as well. no luck. the doctor said that polyclinics are stingy. couldn't debate on that. he then sent me for a jab. he said the jab will make me feel damn high and drowsy (i still am right now, that's why i'm putting down all these crap). the jab was really effective. got drowsy a while later. how am i supposed to cycle home alone when i'm in this kind of state?? and worst still, it was pouring.. arrrggghhh!! tough, tough, rotten luck!! but still i reached home in one piece. went to bed and slept the whole saturday afternoon. just woke up now...

lucky that wasn't the test...

2004-07-05T20:34:00.000+08:00

i had my practical driving this morning. and after two weeks of not driving, i totally screwed up. and the rain did not help. fortunately, the instructor was patient and calm. can i have an instructor to sit beside me everytime i drive like until..forever??

thanks for the memories...

2004-07-05T20:30:00.000+08:00

our last gig at aljunied c.c was good. our sound came out well. thanks to the uncles and aunties, grandpas and grandmas who came yesterday, for you guys have watched our last gig together. but this does not mean leaven trait is gone. we will be back. once again, lokman and joel.thanks for the memories..

is this how it was intended..

2004-07-04T12:21:00.000+08:00

this is it. this will be my last entry before i head down to 'boons' to have a jamming session with the leaven trait. i have a bad feeling that this will be the last time we'll be jamming together(for this line-up). then after the session we'll be heading for our hopefully-not-last-gig-together which is sited next to kovan mrt. i hope the feelings mutual guys. lets rock it out for the last time. let's play like we've never played before. let's get hyped up. don't care how the crowd look at us. just be ourselves. our crazy selves. man, how i wish this wasn't how it was intended..

new weapon of choice

2004-07-03T22:15:00.000+08:00

since the whole idea of searching for a bassist is such a hassle, i've decided to rope in myself. i've volunteered to be the leaven trait's bassist, and guess what, i was selected. at least we made a pact. joel will lend me his bass for one year while he goes on to serve his liabilities. but then, he has to return to play bass for leaven trait or else his bass will be forfeited. good deal huh! but not that good for me though. it's so weird now that i have to start listening to the bass parts of a certain song and finding bass tabs. i guess i'm in a transition zone and things will get better. give me some time...

leaven 'half dead'

2004-07-01T00:16:00.000+08:00

jammed with leaven trait today. played our old songs and bringing back a few older ones to play for this sunday's gig. had dinner after that. then sat with ben and lok and ave at our usual hangout. there,lok popped out the 'highly anticipated' answer. 'i'm out of the band peeps..' and there it is, a double blow for leaven trait. already the bassist will be leaving. now it's back to square one for ben and me. but i know we'll make it. hope ben doesn't put on his walking shoes and walk out on me too. i know he won't, will you ben?? haiz...

meaningless songs

2004-06-30T10:38:00.000+08:00

I’m doing this all by myself
I don’t need no hand to repel
Just let me be

I relate my songs to my life
They both have no meaning
So let it end

My mouth reeks of gunpowder

Will I leave behind a legacy
When the sand piles down
Directly on my misdeeds

All the memories are fading
But bitter ones still cling to me
What good can it bring

My mouth reeks of gunpowder

I’m already down on my knees
The nozzle fills my throat
You’ll see the wreck in my eyes
They have no meaning

My finger’s numb my head is tipping down
Its full effect put to work
Gone is my sanity

Remember my tunes when I’m gone
The only thing I’ll leave behind
Other than my tragic end

My mouth reeks of gunpowder

My fate is calling me
I shove it down my throat
It’s time to pull the trigger
I’m gone

blackout again..

2004-06-30T02:09:00.000+08:00

went to sleep earlier than usual. at about 8 in the evening. it's kind of compensation for the earlier nights of euro 2004. fortunately, there's no game later tonight. suddenly woke up, feeling rather hot, my hi-fi set was on, my air con light was blinking. i was like, 'hey, who the hell messed up with my house settings!' forced myself to sleep again, then decided to wake up at 1am. and here i am, unable to sleep. switched on the comp and heard news that there was a blackout earlier. hah! so that was the problem. oh man...not a blackout again...

it's kind of amusing that we complain about the blackout, as if it was a big disaster.

spare a thought for the people living in other countries where they encounter disasters of much higher scale. earthquakes,typhoons,plagues,human-eating bombs.just be thankful, don't complain and complain. spoilt brats.

caution! 'phlegm'able

2004-06-30T01:56:00.000+08:00

there is like one jug of phlegm in my throat now. damn, that was exaggerating. how am i supposed to sing with all the phlegm in my throat? they won't be able to hear what i'm singing.but that won't be a problem i guess, cos 'they' have always complained that i don't have a clear voice and i always mumble when i sing. i typed in 'they' so as not to launch a personal attack on some people. heh. but as far as they are concerned, i don't give a damn, cos that's the way i sing and these are my songs. if you think it's easy singing, try it yourself. man i need something to sooth my throat. jo, get me some bon-bons! hee..hee..

Cureless

2004-06-29T00:08:00.000+08:00

I’m rotting right here
Somebody save me
What makes you think that
I am feeling good
Does it say in my face

The world is moving too fast
We haven’t taken the test
Yet then we have to sit down
Reflect on our human genes
That’s causing all these problems here

Cause it seems that we can’t put a fault to it
So I guess we just follow suit

Perfection and deception
Procrastination, the lost tradition
New generation is gonna bring us down to hell
And if you asked me
I had a hard time
I’d rather dig my own grave
Than die out laughing
At the fall of mankind

Cause it seems that we can’t put a fault to it
So I guess we just follow suit
The kids are rebelling the cycle is broken
Why don’t we just follow suit

Living standards rise
Emotions start to fall
Don’t point your finger at me
You played a part in it too
And now you’re gonna pay for it
Put your name in the race
You’ve got to know how it tastes
Before you say your grace
And live it under my place
How you wished for better days

i don't like your attitude!

2004-06-28T23:26:00.000+08:00

my day was miserable due to the acts of one malay family back in station. don't want to elaborate cos i'm trying to be professional in my job, but i can't help it. they're simply phucking RUDE!!! at least now i know where the son got the genes from!!

we're not there to be your dogs! get this straight into your civillian-minded head!

...boy am i glad i did not choose this job as my career...

setting up is a chore

2004-06-27T14:39:00.000+08:00

spent the whole morning doing up my blog.look at the result.did it all by myself.i seriously need help on this.my body hurts,look what taking-ippt-after-a-long-break can do to you.i need anarex.saw ave's band perform yesterday at garage studios. she got herself a good bassist,cannot say much about my band though(any brave bassist please stand up).they have good potential.then jammed with blink style leaven trait. came up with one new song. guess what, it's emo.everlasting fall it is called. now i have the desire to play metal.

bassist, i need a bassist..

life is full of surprises..u'll never noe what's in the ding dang..

2004-06-26T11:39:00.000+08:00

waaaaaahhhhh!!another surprise defeat in the euros.this goes to show the boss is never perfect.outclassed. outplayed.can't believe i dozed off while waiting for the second half.the first thing to do when i woke up was to go to soccernet,anticipating a headline that will break most hearts,and there it is,a picture of greek victory!a short break and then i'll head for ben's house to catch out first ever video.came back from ippt,result expected.what more can i expect?? been lazing around ever since i passed out from tracom. time to redeem the glorious days back. now where do i start?run tomorrow?maybe..wait, maybe i'll settle for a tub of strawberry yoghurt now. for a start, it's low in fat.on second thought, the fried chicken looks lonely on the table...